Been a While: Part Deux

Can't sleep so I thought I would blog.

As you know we were working DD off of her meds. At the beginning of January we were down to just Risperdal, Tenex, and Lexapro. We went down 1/2 mg on the Risperdal and that was as far as we got. Mid-January she started having meltdowns at home and school. Nothing like they were before, but enough to cause concern. Mid-January through March are always a rough time of year for DD. So working her off any more meds was put to a stop and we actually increased the Risperdal and Lexapro. That helped some but not enough. She was still having mild meltdowns up to about a week ago when they really started getting bad and culminated with her having a major one in the doctor's office and the doctor admitting her to the hospital. The doctor added lithium back into her med mix and told me that I am just going to have to come to the realization that she needs to be on these meds. I am torn as I know that we can have very good days without a mood stabilizer (the six weeks prior to mid-January), but if I take her off again will it only last just a short time? She was released from the hospital on Tuesday. I hate the way she is right now. She is sleepy all the time and she has that swollen look about her again. There has got to be another solution out there...I just don't know what. She sleeps pretty much from the time she gets home until the time she goes to school so I really don't know if she has improved or not. Even though one doctor in the past told me that I should be grateful that she sleeps so much, because the solution to that would be to have her angry all the time. I refuse to let her sleeping all the time be okay. It's not. That leads me back to getting a proper diagnosis. I was told that next available appointment for the Learning Center at Texas Children is in September. I am still waiting for the packet to fill out and return before I can get an appointment so the next available appointment may be past September by the time I can make one. I was hoping to have some definitive answers before she starts high school in August. I am so worried that because of the improper diagnosis that whatever the correct diagnosis turns out to be, the treatment plan we start will be too late to do her any good. I am so angry with myself for being so naive and trusting in thinking that the doctors (five of them) were correct in saying that she was Bi-Polar. They are suppose to be the experts afterall, right? So why not trust them. Her current doctor has migrated away from that diagnosis and on her discharge papers listed her Axis I diagnosis as Mood disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). I hope I am making sense and not rambling on. I am just frustrated.

I am still believing God to work a mighty miracle in DD's life and to bring back my precious daughter to me. Have a blessed Friday.